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"I'm glad you like this new brand of coffee, Joni. The label said "fast-acting," but who knows what that means!"

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

Love

Cowboy uses his hat for a private kiss.

"You look pretty shifty in the getup. . . even for the subway."

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

Yeah? Delivery! Come on up!

"Wow! That's a mean curveball."

SAGE (unknown model)

"You're definitely in the top 1,000,000,000 people on this planet."

'I must warn you: I'm a level 85 Death Knight!'

Sport Darwinism

'The royalties from Muffin's internet videos were really good last month!'

"Excuse me, sir. Our phones are down, so I'm here with your wake-up call."

'When I got in line, this was a bank. And now it's a STARBUCKS?'

"No-one's noticed the difference yet. . !"

Celebrating the Chinese New Year of the Monkey

Old Star-Struck National Park

'Careful with that shotgun, it could go off.' - 'Don't worry, I'm covering the trigger with my finger.'

A man wears a jacket embroidered with the words "The Alleged Perpetrator - Bronx".

Two stalls at the village fete: Kisses £5.00 and Latest gossip £2.50

Angling Competition

I don't care if you are top or bottom, you've got my head spinning upside-down!

"No I haven't had my lip pierced"

Burglar opens safe of the ACME MAGIC SHOP, finds it empty, slams door, opens it again and finds the safe full of money.

Comedians: Before and after political corectness.

"You're lucky this job became available, our firm has an unusually low staff turnover."

"This time they've totally gone too far."

If fruits and vegetables used Facebook

Mom's right. We both look and act like chimps.

Caught their eye.

'Frankly I'm surprised at such a basic error - his smock's too tight.'

I've got half a mind to get one. As my old man would say...that's probably all you'd need.

'You're very cute but your account is overdrawn - Ok, what the heck...?

"It's sad really. Hard living and bad investments have taken their toll, but back in the 80's he was a big deal flag model."