Perk Persuader T-Shirts

'When people started offering 'Golden Hellos' they didn't realise what a disaster it would be for the business.'

"Now you've told everyone how importatn you are, would you like an upgrade to first class and a complimentary foot massage?"

Changing Minds

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

'He followed me home. Can I keep him?'

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

"Now the first thing you have to do is to get a client's attention."

Perks

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

'...and by persuading your bosses to send you on this course, you've all passed!'

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

I'm just a pollster, ma'am - I have no idea which candidate is a cat person.

I'm trying to figure out what drives you... A new company car would be nice.

What they're thinking.

Giant 'NO' with a small man holding a 'Yes',

'As you go through life, always remember that money isn't everything...Health benefits and stock options are also very important.'

'Never forget that the best things in life are freebies.'

"We did our best to convince them, now it's up to how gullible they are."

CEO Incentives

'We don't have a health plan, but we have a very nice cemetery right out in the churchyard.'

". . .and so the Defense rests, based on those facts, to the best of my manipulation."

'Sir, you have a couple of salesmen laying for you out here.'

"I wasn't persuaded by his presentation. His logic was strong but his threats were weak."

"It's come to my attention that one of you hasn't taken advantage of the company's free gym membership."

"Does he respond better to a confident approach or a groveling approach?"

'I know I just started working here, but is there any way I could get a company car, a membership to a country club and use of the corporate jet? This would greatly enhance my performance in the mail room.'

What about the company car you promised?

"He expects us to climbdown first."

"Actually I was hoping you'd change his mind with the strength of your arguments and your innate erudition."

'Why, there isn't even a company folder for 'Perks'!'

"Do you need me to write in big letters for you?"

'We can't offer you the satisfaction of a gratifying career, but how does a paid week off and dental sound?'

"It reminds me of the very first ad that ever swayed me into buying something I didn't really want."

Appointment for Central London Executive - With Car and Parking Space