Perfume Pillows

"Yes, but it's naturally toxic."

'Even if she does say you're turning her hair gray, why don't you get her some nice cologne?'

Sweet Smell of Success $10.

Colognes for Men

Overpowering perfume

'It's for the executive woman.'

Pheromones.

Attention seeking perfume

'I don't know why, but our new natural perfume line just isn't selling.'

'It's a pity you can't smell it: Such a perfume...'

'Your husband will love this fragrance. It smells like a new electronic gadget.'

"The antidote is $150."

'He'll like this perfume. It has that new car smell.'

'This new perfume is called 'Surrender'.'

'It's about this aftershave you sold me called 'Pied Piper'.'

Dangerous parfum.

'He will love this cologne. It smells like an undervalued stock.'

"Denial, by Beverley."

"What can I put behind my ears to attract men?"

"Do you have any Nine O'clock Madness? I'm not allowed out past ten."

'Do I look fat in this perfume?'

"Do you have one called 'repent'?"

'Oh, I guarantee your date will smell this one.'

Bad news, our men's aftershave has just been listed as an environmental hazard.

"Evening primrose" "Don't you evening primrose me you sexist pig!"

'Have you got something that says, 'I've got a headache?''

'Have you tried out new Labrador Retriever Butt Scent?'

'I like your after-shave. It kills flies.'

'What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?'

'This one is perfect for the 4th of July... with just a hint of Barbecue sauce!'

Eau de Colon.

'You'll attract a lot of men with this perfume. It smells like lager.'

"Why don't we call your mom and ask her the name of the perfume she wears?"

"She'll love this perfume. It smells like chocolate."

"He'll definitely notice this one madam, especially if you leave the receipt where he can find it."