Perfume Pillows

"Yes, but it's naturally toxic."

'Even if she does say you're turning her hair gray, why don't you get her some nice cologne?'

Sweet Smell of Success $10.

Colognes for Men

Overpowering perfume

'It's for the executive woman.'

'It's a pity you can't smell it: Such a perfume...'

Pheromones.

'He will love this cologne. It smells like an undervalued stock.'

Attention seeking perfume

'He'll like this perfume. It has that new car smell.'

Dangerous parfum.

'I don't know why, but our new natural perfume line just isn't selling.'

"The antidote is $150."

"My wife wants a perfume that'll make her irresistable. What have you got that smells like bourbon and cigars?"

'This new perfume is called 'Surrender'.'

'It's about this aftershave you sold me called 'Pied Piper'.'

'Your husband will love this fragrance. It smells like a new electronic gadget.'

'Do I look fat in this perfume?'

"What can I put behind my ears to attract men?"

'Have you got something that says, 'I've got a headache?''

'What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?'

"Denial, by Beverley."

"Why don't we call your mom and ask her the name of the perfume she wears?"

'This one is perfect for the 4th of July... with just a hint of Barbecue sauce!'

"Do you have any Nine O'clock Madness? I'm not allowed out past ten."

"Evening primrose" "Don't you evening primrose me you sexist pig!"

'Have you tried out new Labrador Retriever Butt Scent?'

"Do you have one called 'repent'?"

"He'll definitely notice this one madam, especially if you leave the receipt where he can find it."

'You'll attract a lot of men with this perfume. It smells like lager.'

"She'll love this perfume. It smells like chocolate."

Eau de Colon.

'I like your after-shave. It kills flies.'

Bad news, our men's aftershave has just been listed as an environmental hazard.