Performer Pal Gifts

"This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath."

"It get it – you're hungry."

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

"I hear you've been doing exciting things with eggs and dye."

"Hi, kid! Did you watch 'Sesame Street' today?"

'After hours of rehearsing together, little Judy Barlow is going to play 'Three Blind Mice' while her father screams, 'Keep that racket down, will ya?''

'Just for once, can't we have a picnic without your mates turning up to crawl all over the food?'

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

"According to my calculations...school starts in exactly 20 days!"

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

"Some day, we should bait our hooks."

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

Performance In The Bedroom

'I'm sorry, but the position of Contentment Provider has been filled.'

A Friend in Need.

She'd decided to apply for a species change...

Circus trousers

Persian

Brass Band

Guitarist

"I've been on the stage now for 35 years..."

Graham really wanted to play Joseph, but deep down he knew what part he'd get again.

'This is Dr Grumbacher, Professor Emeritus of Comparative Philology. Perhaps he could tell you the difference between an adverb and an adjective.'

"In a minor role, but giving a highly charged performance. . ."

"Okay, which one of you guys filled my bowling ball with helium?"

'Wow, you really have Tabby excited now! I can almost hear her breathe!'

Are the tomatoes bioengineered locally. Produce.

"It's nice of you to say so, Ben, but somehow the idea of 'Shakespeare in the Park' doesn't really appeal to me."

"I don’t know, Phil … my gut tells me she’ll drive you nuts."

"Hey Cruz, check out my super-powered speaker system!"

Terrifically Twickenham

"Accidentally flying onstage does not count as 'doing Shakespeare in the Park.' "

"It's a podcast about me and my buddy discussing movies, but the catch is we also sorta joke around."

'Bait no more! You really know how to take advantage of a friendship, don't you!'