Performance Review Champ T-Shirts

'What's your usual response to criticism?' - 'Extreme surprise.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Just be yourself."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'They all want to play the star.'

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

Snowprov

'We like your zip-a-dee. You need to work on your dooh-dah.'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"I'm the only sane artist in the world."

I'm not making enough money to like you.

Primitive magician

'He's maturing early.'

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

Dog fetching clown shoes.

"Listen Herb, once you become the boss and decide who gets a raise, then you can have a raise."

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'

"I can't sit down. Don't you remember? I worked my butt off for you."

Orchestra conductor

Sales - "Any other suggestion besides getting a bigger chart?"

'Ask yourself, 'What is it I'm not doing?', and then ask yourself, 'What is it I'm doing too much?'.'

Targets.

"I don't know whether your tired, anxious, nervous, or whatever. But it looks like a clear case of performance anxiety."

Comedy Ballet of Marionettes I (Oil Version in Tate Known as 'A Caprice'

Business Target

"A great quarter always puts the old man in a jocular mood."

'It appears you've done a wonderful job...of not getting fired.'

Trilby - 'Bonjour, Suzon!'

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."