Performance Optimist T-Shirts

'The new incentive scheme seems to be working.'

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

Trays on desk read: In/Out/Lose in the Shuffle.

'But I did study. I guess the software didn't install successfully.'

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

"Don't worry, all the politicians are promising that we have a bright future ahead of us..."

"Let's save some time, shall we?... Yes, no, for about five years, since I was a small boy, yes, I can start on Monday. Thanks, bye."

"Oh I don't think it's as bad as all that. In fact, I think we're in the golden age of something which we won't even realize it's the golden age of until many years from now."

'Shouldn't we also have a plan in case things go right?'

"The side effects of this experimental medication are; happiness, improved eye sight and increased strength. . . Oh well, back to the drawing board."

Desk Tray: 'In One Ear' and 'Out The Other'

'Well sir, out 'idyllic country cottage' may be a bit extreme, but you have to admit its got potential.'

I never feel a day over 25 until I try to act like one.

'When one trap door closes, another opens.'

Extreme Coworking Space

"Norman thinks we should close our borders to climate change."

'Ma, I didn't get the raise, but I'm now the vice president in charge of empty cans and bottles!'

"You very rarely get to work on time, your reports are always late you completely miss most meetings..."

Instant winner trash can

'I'm having an energy crisis.'

I should have measured my garden before going to the garden center...

'At least the mess I make is all in one place'

Wait Lifter

We're Already Sorry, Inc: 'You won't be sorry, sir'

Walter from Gamblers Anonymous

'Sure the grades are bad, but on the bright side I'm achieving consistency in my academic brand.'

'Yes, I'm already in debt, but not HOPELESSLY in debt.'

Snapshots: Karen knew better than to marry a packrat.

"Originally I was resting before I was between engagements... I'm out of work now and next month I'll be counted as unemployed."

'This is a real miracle drug. It costs the same this year as it did last year.'

"I told you not to let him buy you a drink."

Happy retirement!

'...let's form a choir and sing 'feel good' songs...'

NATs: 'Next Year.'