Percussive Maintenance Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Nurse, hitting the top and yelling 'work, you piece of crap!' doesn't even help with computers. It helps even less with patients."

I love my Timpani

Triangle

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

"Would you mind doing that in the other room?"

"We tried 'Baby Mozart,' but he prefers 'Baby John Cage.'"

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

Lazy plumber.

'Either play faster or get out the band.'

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

When did you last have your oil changed?

Whack a Marimba

"I can practice a different song."

'The food inspector, Sir!'

Person playing the cymbals.

Musician hurts his nose.

'We don't want to interfere to much, just a couple of things...what you do and how you do it!'

'It's a Marimba!'

'You think you can purr your way out of anything, don't you?'

'Sometimes I think I spoil you Tiddles!'

"The cat's sleeping." "She's so comfy." "If I move I'll wake her up." "The phone is ringing... They'll call back later." "I'm hungry... But it'll pass." "Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

"Don't worry I removed the instructions."

An orchestra cymbalist is tempted by a fly.

"She says she's from Quality Control. We've failed the furniture inspection."

Salad Bowl Drum

Learn how to identify the parts of a drum kit

'With Stu Fleming on bass, Vinny DeAngelo on drums, Kyle Zimmerman on lead guitar, and Kevin Phipps, our least gifted musician, on tambourine.'

As he turned 40 Stuart realised mental flossing had become part of his routine.

Pole Dancing Every Night: 'It's one of the perks of being a weights and measures inspector.'

"The drums, Melissa, the drums of passion, they beat for you."

"I'm sorry sir, we are now closed."

Cymbal Player's Music Book

Cat DNA is decoded.