People Wrangler T-Shirts

"I handle chatty people for him."

The Baby Walker

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

She - Interpreter - He.

High Riders of the Old West

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

A trevor of trainspotters

Sulk Shows

'Whatever surprise he's cooking up for you, I'm sure you've a good sense of humour!'

"Mom, can you come get me?"

"Dammit Harold, you know I hate that mask!"

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

"I fell in love with her. Then she mutated."

Counselor. It's annoying that he always has to have the second-to-last word

Parenting Business Deals

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

"Well, I've finished the project on time and on budget!" "That means I've given you too much time and too much money!"

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'

The First Day Back

"Marriage is driving me crazy and she's my designated driver!"

"You have reservations for 7 o'clock? Ideally..."

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

Quiet Time

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

'Did you want me, boss?'