People Who Love To Entertain Pillows

'Are you sure you didn't invite the Brownes around for dinner?'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Showbiz Awards

Zombie standup

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

Clown on bike.

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"Extreme miming"

The Rooster Comedian.

"We're following Carrot Top."

Comedy Cafe

"That'll be five bucks."

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

Cow Show Tunes

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"Bravo!"

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'