Pensioner Advocate Pillows

Old Turtle

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

'The great thing is, the poor won't be able to squander it on luxuries such as dignity, equality and hope!'

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

'Luckily he has dementia so he's go some imaginary friends coming in to look after him.'

"Normally after 365 years we'd be looking at a better figure, but not when you've only worked one day a year!"

Corruption, Apathy, & Mediocrity...

"In normal circumstances a full state pension would be an automatic..."

Mismanagement Consultant.

U.S.Postal Service - Then and Now

"Scary stuff, but I'm not sure the world is ready for the unexpurgated story of life as a pensions adviser!"

Victim of Sequestration!

"Walter Thruggins, My Life as a Pensions Adviser."

"It's all very well for people to go on about restraining hedge fund managers...but they have not idea of what we do!"

"Glen is a one-issue voter....medicare and social security solvency."

"Some 'King'. They didn't even give me an N95."

"This is your social worker Mrs Bigworth, she's brought your care package."

"Methuselah's been retired for over 800 years, but what is he retired from?"

Angry pensioner

"It's a newstart rescue canoe ."

'If it wasn't for their great pension scheme I'd have packed this in years ago.'

"You know it almost BEGGARS belief that so many people are unwilling to pay for professional pension advice."

"The Chancellor insists on people getting 'advice' on what to do with their pension ports if they cash them in."

'...I expected a little more than... a sticky toffee with fluff on it.'

"There's more to being a pensions adviser than just handling the figures..."

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'

"The pensions industry needs to dramatically improve the way we communicate with customers."

"I'm afraid your Christmas present hasn't gone down too well!"

"The FTSE has gone through the roof!"

"The technical aspects of the 'dashboard' are mainly resolved. Now we just have to sort out the peripheral services."

"Hi, I'm your personal pensions advisor, Miss Sold"

Age Concern and Pension concerns.

"He's 104. He always comes back on his birthday - I worked out he'd be gone at 69."

Pension Advisor.

"I've had a look at our revised pension forecast..."