Pension Philosopher Pillows

Boomers and Bummer

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

Saguaro Cactus Regrets.

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"I had a low birth weight but a high birthright."

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

Illustration on the problem of money that is given to charities ending up in the hands of governments.

Star Trek-the Older Generation. . .

Retirement Issues

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

Mall of ages

"Give it to me straight, doc. Will I outlive social security and medicare?"

Balding Autumn Tree.

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

"Seventy-five isn't the new anything."

'This is how our new no-risk pension scheme works.'

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

Mismanagement Consultant.

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

Poor man and rich man

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

'I wish I could look just like Elvis.'