Penalty Stroke Survivor Gifts

"Penalty stroke my ***!"

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

"Can i get a transfer from the porcupine enclosure..?

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

'Uh-oh. That's the 'special' whistle. ... This is going to be a major penalty.'

Football - How's my Diving?

Giovanni C., Penalty Killer

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

Crime and punishment - football.

"...He's been going to work in a wheelie bin. He says its quicker, cleaner and less cramped"

'We call it 'Fred'. He's our best penalty kicker.'

'I'm sorry to hear about your Husband's little car crash... By the way, here's my bill for fixing his brakes.'

"Your reputation for taking penalties doesn't scare me... Ready when you are."

'You're not allowed out of the Coach's Penalty Box.'

"How come I get TWO yellow cards?"

'In 1959 it was, took his only penalty - missed.'

'We call it 'Fred'. He's our best penalty kicker.'

"You always rush out and high-dive me when I homer. How 'bout a bug when I whiff?"

'I think it will be a very competitive season. Most of the league's key players are out on bail.'

"This is your second cousin Adalberto. He was a soccer player until he was kciked in the head and got a conclusion."

Football Hand of God.

'The hair shirt is sufficient. You don't have to shave with a hedgehog.'

'You gonna stop fighting? Huh? I can't hear you!'

Finally the government stepped in and issued a back-to-work order for everyone except Bob.

Honey I wish you wouldn't bring your home with you

"Where the heck is my phone?"