Penalty Pranksters Gifts

'New rule. From now on you don't just sit in the penalty box. You also get a root canal.'

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

ABC Diapers. Comfy Tushy Diapers. Now 3 times more absorbent! Note to self: Drink 4 times more juice.

"We can speak freely now. I've encrypted the line."

"Not that it's right, but I understand. I was young once and used to sneak out to do crop circle, too."

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

Tartar sauce.

'Oh, the usual, a postman, a couple of salesmen, a pizza delivery boy, how was your day?'

"Oh no, it's gone in that silly little hole again."

'Let's just keep quiet about this, and maybe some terrorist group will claim credit.'

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

A clown is walking a balloon dog. He is pretending it is weeing on a fire hydrant.

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

"'Let's introduce him to a mirror' he said. 'It'll be fun he said'. You call the coroner!"

Back to the Holidays

Monkey dropping apples on Newton's head.

Hole in forty-seven.

Revenge Of The Tipped Cows

Ref shows footballer green card.

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

'The truth is, Gorillas don't even like bananas...They just love pratfalls.'

Children in a Nursery.

'Stop fooling around, I can hear my dad coming out of the shower...'

Driver sees man in front of church with sign: 'Fell Asleep and Wet the Pew': 'Huh - a church that's into public shaming.'

'No problem Mr. Billings, just drop your shorts and let me take a sniff around there.'

"Omnipotent?! I thought you said impotent. And you're out of wished, too."

Why clown agents shoul never hide in the WC

"I'm ready to play Hide and go Seek."

Remember, when we show mommy, we pretend this was your idea, ok?

'I am unable to find the words to respond to that.'

Groucho Glasses Eye Test

'Ok lads, this is no laughing matter...!'