Penal System Prankster Pillows

'Ok, how many hours of community service for Murder One?'

"My hackers just collapsed your country's economy."

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

"Oh no, it's gone in that silly little hole again."

'What do you mean that you hacked into Old Faithful's computer so now it's not so faithful?'

Hole in forty-seven.

'New rule. From now on you don't just sit in the penalty box. You also get a root canal.'

Ref shows footballer green card.

Driver sees man in front of church with sign: 'Fell Asleep and Wet the Pew': 'Huh - a church that's into public shaming.'

"This is a special place we have for phishing scammers!"

'Sir, you need special help to fix this problem. Please hold the line whilst I put you through to our exorcist.'

A frat party at an online university

"These days, I don't eat homework. I just install ransomware."

'See, I told you this electric fence would come in handy.'

'I warned: Play a sloppy game and, come Monday, there will be hell to pay during practice.'

"Hold on, I have an announcement. Facebook password Missywillow 555, please move your car or it will be towed."

'Remember Spike, he gets a 1/2 hour lunch. ONe minute more and you attack!'

"Show-off!"

'No, it's not number four either, but he does look like my ex-husband. Yeah, let's go with number four.'

'Please have a seat while I review your internet history.'

'When did everything go online? In my day we did our haunting in person.'

'I'm going to have to let you go. Even though you're one of the best computer programmers we've ever had, we just can't tolerate you eating the other employees.'

"Every holiday I disable his Internet. It keeps his mind off us."

"A modicum of barking is required on my part, but then I'll let you in if you'll let me out."

Women Golfers

Antisocial Behaviour

"Judging by where I've been transferred to, I think my boss is still unhappy with me for opening that attachment and infecting all the computers with a virus."