Pedigree Ponderer T-Shirts

"According to the pedigree, his family has been mutts for twelve generations."

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

Master's Degrees of the Universe

'Soon, you will start to notice changes in your body... massive, horrifying changes.'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

Sex Education

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

Retirement Issues

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

"Walter Thruggins, My Life as a Pensions Adviser."

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

'Are you sure its a purbred?'

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

"Take a few minutes to introduce yourself, Ms. Berry. Not that they don't already have you pegged."

'If we're seedless watermelons, where did I come from?'

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

'At last you can put your feet up and concentrate on worrying about your pension.'

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

'I'm new here. What type of retirement plan do they offer?'

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

'The money you've saved to last through your old age is gone and, h-hh-m...you're still here!'

"If we want to get across our warnings about the dire consequences of not saving for a future then we need powerful dramatic message!"