Pediatrics T-Shirts

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

'Why yes, I do remember little Timmy.'

"I don't normally like to increase a child's hyper-active medicine, but in this case...."

"I'd like to request a transfer from the children's ward."

'Heroic stoicism has its rewards.'

'She's a nurse in the childrens' ward.'

The Children's Hospital

'It's the only way he'll take his medicine.'

Scared husband needs to have scans done in children's exam room.

'Are you sure you didn't swallow your cell phone? I keep getting a dial tone.'

A midwife holding a baby

'I think nurse Wilsum has been in pediatrics too long.'

'Could you wear a Dr. Phil mask?'

'I don't know why babies always want to pull my nose.'

'It's the worst I've seen in this area. Lots of chicken pox going around.'

"Well Mrs Collins. The results of my test seem to confirm that Gavin has a rather nasty case of glue-ear."

'Tell you what; I'll give you the lollipop and I'll give you the shot.'

"The doctor will give you your shot. I'm just going to referee."

'He's just experiencing a growth spurt'

Nurse Vaccinating Cheeky Child

Ear, nose & throat. Head, shoulder, knees & toes.

Medical School. I'm going to specialize in children's feet. You'll be a "podiatrician."

"Four out of five pediatricians agree that the fifth pediatrician is a moron."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Madonna of the Pukes.

"They grow up so fast."

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.