Peacekeeping Parents Pillows

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."

Home Sweet Home

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

Self-Help Books Families for Lockdown

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

A world divided by the war

Thanksgiving Family Get-Togethers

Uncle Mort, you fought in Korea, right? You think that war will start up again? Not if I can help it. It was the morning of July 27, nineteen hundred and fifty-three. I was pinned down on Pork Chop Hill. My bazooka had run out of ammo. All I could find to load into it was a stuffed panda bear. I loaded it and fired that bear into the maw of the enemy. It struck one of them atop the noggin. Moments later, the armistice was signed. Every July 27th, I awaken at dawn and chuck that same panda at the

Antiwar Democrats Get Tough

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

"Go ask your mother ... and I'll tell you why she's wrong."

"Listen up and listen up good, 'cause I'm only going to say this a million times."

"All parents fight."

"I don’t see how confirming who I like best will help this situation."

Cat holds sign that says 'come over here', dog holds a sign that says 'how?'

"You're a veteran? In which wars did you serve?"

"You'll have one bite of everything!"

"Lately, I've begun to understand - and forgive - my parents."

"That's not a math lesson. That's just some notes to myself."

Certificate in Living Room Celebrating Three Days Without Argument

"I thought we agreed not to fight in front of the children."

"No, I can't uninstall your little brother. So, you'll have to get along with him."

"I'm sorry—I never discuss my clients with their mothers."

Mom prepares a family dinner

"These family dinners have become a lot friendlier since we started wearing nametags."

Kitchen Appliances Fed Up With The Baby.

Children Of The Coronavirus

'Do you have to yell at the boy when he throws the paper?'

"I'd like to say I'm sorry for leaving you a world full of hatred and war."

Mother telling off quarreling children

'How should I know why my daughter has not spoken to me in over a month, stupid.'