Peace Seeker Gifts

"Could I get a single perfect olive branch?"

"Retirement is great, and I don't miss the races really: I do miss the roar of the crowd though..."

'Right...we've agreed to mediation to decide whether or not we go to mediation!'

Buddhist - You were here.

'Why are you always so bloody reasonable?'

Three favourite words: Back to school.

I kid you not, if he calls me 'grasshopper' one more time, I'm cleaning his clock.

Need Better Process

World Peace - Assembly required

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

Strain of negotiation

'Alex, you're getting more aloof by the day. You're binge meditating again, aren't you?'

'I don't take telemarketing calls during dinner time. Can I call you back during your dinner time?'

'You can have inner peace or you can have chili with beans, but you can't have both.'

Jesus celebrates the Church's birthday

Happy Holidays: Peace children.

'Yup, might be time for a new gardener.'

Dollywood...Nirvana... 'I'm lost.'

'I just love country music.'

"I'm looking for a sense of security and piece of mind in a short-recoil-operated, single-action semiautomatic."

Plane annoys penthouse apartment.

"The question isn't what you did this summer. It's how you felt about what you did."

"On second thought, let's just change that to 'Dear Sir'."

'One day, there will be world peace...in the meantime, you may want to step away from the fan.'

At an impasse, facing a brick wall.

"I used to be a young crazy rebel like you you know."

'I don't know what brand of remote I need. It's for the kid's stereo in the next apartment.'

'I feel wired. I want to feel wireless.'

Confucius say: shut up.

Turn that noise down ! (II)

"What?" "I SAID TURN THE MUSIC DOWN!"

'We come in peace. Unless, of course, you have stuff that we want.'

"I sure hope the negotiations go well."

Group Therapy

Bert launches his plan to increase property values: Annoyance Free Zone - No politicians, media, pundits, or mimes beyond this point.