Payday Ponderer T-Shirts

"I can't bear the way he dishes out the pay-packets"

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'Salaries Manager. No.'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

"Profits. Good thing or the greatest thing?"

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

"It drives me MAD when people whine about the amount top management get paid. . ."

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'

business

'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

'After months of analysing, we found out how to stop your downgoing profits: just find more customers who want to buy your products.'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'