Finance Ponderer T-Shirts

'How much do you think we'd be worth if we lost all our money?'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

Annual profits,

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'The growing disparity of income is a tribute to our acumen.'

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

"Profits. Good thing or the greatest thing?"

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

business

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

"Life isn't fair, and that's what makes it fun."

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

'It's nice but will it be a hedge against inflation.'

'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

'After months of analysing, we found out how to stop your downgoing profits: just find more customers who want to buy your products.'