Paychecks Pillows

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

'Money is a bit tight at the moment, so instead of cash we wondered whether you'd settle for 20% more meaningless protestations of how much we value you?'

"I never said they were well-compensated. I just said they were paid handsomely."

"Casual Payday."

"If you're wondering why you've been chosen 'Employee of the week,' it's because your work load is about to increase, while your pay remains the same."

"These are 'small bucks,' Josh. You have to work here a long time to get the 'big bucks'."

"To be honest the culture sucks, but the pay is amazing."

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

"Here's your paycheck. I hope we'll both find it amusing."

"I got my first paycheck, and now I understand why our organization is classified as a nonprofit."

'No raise, but we can make your desk and chair one-inch taller.'

'Oh, that's a deduction to pay for management perks.'

'Your heart's not in the job - admit you're only doing it for the money!'

'My pay envelope is empty.' - 'Your deductions equal your salary'

'Stare at it all you want sir, but I can assure you, no one is going to jump out and yell 'April Fools.'

'This is the part of my paycheck that goes to taxes.'

'I don't know what to do about my check - grief or anger counseling.'

'I'm prepared to pay you a living wage. Of course, what kind of a living you get out of it is entirely up to you.'

'The only thing keeping me from being successful is not having a salary.'

"The good news is, we've managed to secure you a ?7 per week pay increase. The bad news is, we're going to charge ?2 per day to park your cars."

'They were two payroll cowboys riding together.'

"With so many applicants for a few jobs, we can lower the pay and drop the benefits!"

"That sweet raise everybody's been excited about is finally here. Enjoy it!"

"She's always like this at this time of the month,short tempered, insecure,anxious,questioning why she does the job!" "PMT?" "Wageslip!"

'I suppose you've often wondered what you'd do if you had my income.'

'Here are today's numbers: I earn $1369 per day, an increase of $548 per day over my previous job...'

"Of course the job has benefits - you benefit by getting a paycheck every week!"

' I earn a six-figure income, if you count those two little numbers after the decimal point.'

"Would you like your paycheck sent directly to your mortgage holder, your oil company or your health insurance provider?"

'If that's the going salary, then what's the starting salary?'