Paycheck Investigator Pillows

'have you ever taken a good look at your paycheck stub? There's one area for what we get and ten different areas for what somebody else gets.'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Inflation Is Up, Interest Rates Are Going Up. . . I'm Asking You To UP Your Donation.

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

"Here's your paycheck. I hope we'll both find it amusing."

"I see the businessman's lunch is up 50p."

There's no real oil emergency...

'No raise, but we can make your desk and chair one-inch taller.'

Spying Smart TV

'Stare at it all you want sir, but I can assure you, no one is going to jump out and yell 'April Fools.'

"Let's have a moment's silence to remember the profits we used to make."

"I'm not sure if that bill is correct or not, sir. We just throw a bunch of charges on there to see which ones stick."

'This is the part of my paycheck that goes to taxes.'

"According to the insurance company, you don't have a leg to stand on."

"Gilts are keeping pace with inflation."

"No this is your contract. The other one's your bill

' I earn a six-figure income, if you count those two little numbers after the decimal point.'

"About your self employed expenses, do you do anything purely for pleasure?"

Look, you know what models get paid. Don't act all freaked out by your check!

'Here are today's numbers: I earn $1369 per day, an increase of $548 per day over my previous job...'

'Just a minute while I pull up your file.'

A man at a cash dispenser gives a shocked reaction on reading his bank statement.

'Do you realize we're all getting richer by charging each other more?'

'You took out a policy with us Tuesday morning and had a fire Tuesday afternoon...What was the delay?'

Bankers waking up from cryo-sleep to explain the Fed's interest rate hike to you.

'I'd like to investigate your tax return.'

"The bad news is your pay will now be performance-based. The good news is they've just raised the minimum wage."

"My take home pay must have gone to someone else's house."

"Don't even bother asking for a raise. He'll just tell you to go to Hell."

Cards. Birthday. I don't know if 50 is the new 40, but apparently $4.95 is the new buck-fifty!

'Consumer income takes a new hop ... Inflation... takes a new high-jump!'

"I think I finally understand inflation."

Mervyn King

"Whoa, don't hand me my pay cheque. I'm allergic to peanuts!"

Tel Aviv Tents