Pay Day Enthusiast T-Shirts

'I've reconsidered your request for a pay rise, and I've decided that you do deserve one after all.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

Resume Dumpers

'Enough is enough. We're sick of being overworked and underpaid.'

"And try not to spill Daddy's Martini, Caleb."

'Regarding where you stand for a payrise - you don't.'

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

"Today we welcome back an old friend."

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

"A good quarter is a joy forever."

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

'Miss Henshaw - bring me my trumpet.'

"R&D really created a miracle drug this time...at least it's been miraculous for our bottom line!"

"We got him through a firm of headhunters"

'I see you worked here seven years ago. Don't you have a better reference than that?'

"This data shows us that we are going up to a new level."

"I know you're the quote, 'company's envelope orderer', but change the acronym."

And this is my dance of the third quarters profit ratio.

'I received matching offers.'

"That was a good interview. Do you have any other questions about this company?"

A Crab Tubing in a Tidepool

"I think he's been capitalised!"

'The candidate must be decisive and independently minded.' - 'Would I describe myself as 'decisive and independently minded'?' - 'Would you describe me as 'decisive and independently minded'?'

"I told you they had a tough interview process here."

"I see it's payday again Perkins!"

"Maybe we apply as a group....crowdsourcing employment."

Making Money.

'Who said honesty is the best policy?'

'I'd love to have whatever job you have left.'