Paw-some Dining Experiences Mugs

'I wish you wouldn't order for both of us.'

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

"Is the MSG local?"

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

Odd Spas

Dog orders the food 9 out of 10 dogs prefer.

'You made me jump,'

'This refrigerator isn't big enough for the both of us.'

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

You can substitute broccoli for the asparagus, but you can't substitute another glass of wine for the fries.

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

Spaceman serving shrimp.

'Waiter there is an aeroplane in my soup!'

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

"I won't need a doggie bag."

"That! That's why I don't like Alfresco dining!"

"Start Sucking!"

All our meals digest easily forming a soft, mushy stool with just a hint of acridity.

'We'll let you know in a few minutes. Right now, we're googling your chef.'

'Waiter, can you tell me where the ladies' tree is, please?'

No, I can get slow, sick and weak at home

"Actually, I recommend the lobster. . . because it's starting to spoil!"

"Looks like dinner's going to take just a little longer."

'I'll have a BLT sandwich -- hold the 'B'.'

"This is cold. I specifically ordered the Warm and Fuzzy."

'Hi. I'm Tiffany and I'll be your waitress tonight -- this agreement may be terminated by either party at any time.'

'I'm sorry Jane, but this time your anthropomorphism has gone too far.'

'Kibbles & S**t'

"I need some assistance here."

Today's 'Are You Feelin' Lucky' special is all you can eat raw oysters.

'Er... Waiter!'

"My compliments to the chef."