Paw-sitive Parent T-Shirts

'I don't mind you being on the furniture, but go for the remote one more time...'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

'That was fun!'

"Humans are strange."

Mrs Sutherland and her American Hairless Terrier.

"I always get the 'Good Boy.' How about the 'Bad Dog' for a change?"

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

"It's nice to be wanted."

"Beats me. They put up the sign and went to their panic room."

'Senior Cat Warranty, Low maintenance sofa accessory, Unlimited purring and cuddling, Mellow 'been there done that' attitude.'

Public toiletsbathrooms for dogs using fire hydrants in cubicals.

'Actually, mine is a useless hunter, but we both love wandering idly in the woods...'

Zack Brillard and Live-In Companion

'How many times have I told you to stay out of the cemetery?'

'Wait a minute - isn't this one yours and that one mine?'

"Glen, I'm not just your editor. I'm also your best friend, and I'm telling you, lose the cat."

"I'm trying to end my bone addiction."

'I'm afraid we already have a St. Bernard up here.'

"You've done it, Martin - you've taught him to smile!"

"I said SLIPPERS!"

"Oh no, Mother. The dog is curled up asleep."

"I wonder if the dumb obedience school gives a warranty..."

Hang Time Fido

'Son, I think you're old enough now to know about the birds and the fleas.'

"Yes, when I was young, I was a golden retriever: I'm more like a silver retriever now..."

Heel! Toe!

"I say you're spoiling that dog."

"Fill out the form and have a seat in the waaait... waaait... waiting room."

If they were cats

'Buster was in a little accident, but he'll be good as new in 6 weeks.'

"He's a real dog person."

'One last question... Dog person or cat person?'

'It's a symbiotic relationship- she gives me food, and I eat it.'