Paving Punster Gifts

'We're thinking of laying down crazy paving.'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

Cake Free Zone

Dogs life

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

We're putting on a subtraction.

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

"YOU pass him on the left."

A Tongue Stud.

A-Hem! I'm still singing here!

Cover story: Oil Workers Monthly.

"I call it decking - it will be all the rage in a few years."

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

"Your manuscript is utter trash, of course. How does a half-million first printing sound to you?"

Baby Grand Larceny

Lawyer Xing

Henry Grumble, an editor to the bitter end.

Vicar with three taps: hot, cold and holy.

"There's no need to call me names, Slime-Breath!"

Driver to tire salesman: 'I drive on a lot of rough roads. How much to pave the tires?'

"Do you think there might be a bitcoin in it?"

Hoping to compete with ABC's smash hit 'Desperate Housewives', Fox launches 'Desperate Plumbers'.

'Maybe complimentary refills wasn't such a good idea.'

Flower: 'I wouldn't go in there if i were you Pal. The place is full of Skinheads.'

'Say, aren't you the guy who owns the theater I go to? The one with $5 small sodas and $6 popcorn?. . . Well then, you'll understand if my bill for unstopping your sink is $33,000?'

Hunter looking at sign NOOKs and CRANNIES

"If this doesn't clear it, then you can call the plumber!"

'Relax...I heard our opponents today are huge pussies.'

'She saved the best for last!'

The Romance Between the Tap and the Cup.

'It's a cover for the latrine, but yeah, it could be used for transportation...'

Cow wrestling with ring through nose.

'He learnt it all from a book - 'Play Like Boris Becker'.'

Straight Ahead / Whoopee