Patient Strategist Pillows

'Al-I don't think we better wait until a bigger one comes along.'

'With Brie, patience is key.'

I figured out how we can pay for the kids' college tuitions. Do tell. I'm going to leave for a year of self-discovery, which I will chronicle in a best-selling memoir. Oh, but

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

If these are your medications, what happened to the beads I bought?

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"The truth is, doctor, I've lost faith in Western medicine."

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

Invoice: 'That's good laughter is the best medicine.'

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

'Sorry I am late - have you been waiting long?'

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

"I've run every test known to man, and it turns out you're allergic to medical bills."

There aren't any serious side effects — just an occasional Elvis sighting.

By teaching the parrot a few key phrases, Marilyn no longer needs to nag her kids.

'We're trying to use a team approach to medicine, but we're having trouble fitting everyone!'

NHS targets.

'Let me though! - I'm a Doctor.'

"That's a semi-private room for you. You caught his, and he caught yours."

Handicap parking sign for person in hospital bed.

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

'Boy! The cost of health care is going up, up, up...'

"Dehumanization, maybe, but not depersonalization."

"It's the hospital board performing surgery on the budget."

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

"Let's run a few tests and see where we are."

'Except...That.'

'I don't think he'll make it either....I feel it's time to call in a minister to give last rites'

"If it takes the GMC 20 years to spot a rogue surgeon what chance have you got in 20 minutes?"

Doctor's profits match a patient's scar.

'You gotta help me, doctor! I took a deep breath to get some fresh air and inhaled my Blackberry!'

"The doctor will see you in a week - if you could still be ill a week on Wednesday."

'I've got a patient who needs to chat to someone...Have you got anyone who's completed the 'verbal communication with patients in a personal, supportive but not disempowering' course?'