Patient Pioneer Pillows

6 Months waiting time beyond this point

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

If these are your medications, what happened to the beads I bought?

"The truth is, doctor, I've lost faith in Western medicine."

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

'Sorry I am late - have you been waiting long?'

"I've run every test known to man, and it turns out you're allergic to medical bills."

Stethoscope line.

'We're trying to use a team approach to medicine, but we're having trouble fitting everyone!'

Please Wait and wait and wait.

Handicap parking sign for person in hospital bed.

"That's a semi-private room for you. You caught his, and he caught yours."

'Let me though! - I'm a Doctor.'

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

'It would be just like my husband not to like the color.'

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

'Boy! The cost of health care is going up, up, up...'

Wait! It might be cheaper to just knock it down and build from scratch.

"If it takes the GMC 20 years to spot a rogue surgeon what chance have you got in 20 minutes?"

Pig heart donation saves human life

Doctor's profits match a patient's scar.

"Let's run a few tests and see where we are."

'I don't think he'll make it either....I feel it's time to call in a minister to give last rites'

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

"The doctor will see you in a week - if you could still be ill a week on Wednesday."

'I've got a patient who needs to chat to someone...Have you got anyone who's completed the 'verbal communication with patients in a personal, supportive but not disempowering' course?'

'That pest in 453 is being discharged.'

'Hello, Mr. Perkins. I'm Dr. Jones, and I'll be assisting you with your suicide.'

"Back here in 30 minutes?"

'You want a second opinion? -- Oh, a big shot, eh?'

"Back from hunting with nothing again?"

'This is a serious complaint, we need time to consider it properly...about 15 years should do!'

"It seems all doctors agree with you, but I'd still like to get a 15th opinion."

'It's the paperwork you need to fill out to show that we're focussing on patients needs.'