Patient Care Enthusiast Pillows

'I've got a patient who needs to chat to someone...Have you got anyone who's completed the 'verbal communication with patients in a personal, supportive but not disempowering' course?'

'We're trying to use a team approach to medicine, but we're having trouble fitting everyone!'

"Sorry, I don't like your opinion either, can I have a fifth?"

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

'That's the diagnosis of my diagnostic desktop. If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my diagnostic tablet.'

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

Doctors Discussion

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

Get well soon!

Healthy Patients Only

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

"You call all this a side effect?"

'Two Aspirins'...'Brain Tumor'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

'Thanks for inviting me to dinner - it's really great!'

'There, we're up and running! Let the logging in begin. . .'