Health Care Aficionado Pillows

'So - what does it sound like to you?'

'You've got a buildup of creosote. It's no wonder: You smoked like a chimney.'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

Be Healthy

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

'Fitness guru.'

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

Get well soon!

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

Healthy Patients Only

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

Medical Examinations.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

"My approach is nontraditional, but from a uniquely Western perspective."

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

"You call all this a side effect?"

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'