Patient Caller Pillows

We're sorry, all lines are currently busy. Please continue holding for the next available recorded message.

'IRS Help Hot Line. While you're on hold for the next 23 hours, press 1 if you would like to listen to New Age Music, press 2 If you would like to listen to rap, press 3 If you would like to listen to country, press 4... '

If these are your medications, what happened to the beads I bought?

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"The truth is, doctor, I've lost faith in Western medicine."

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

Invoice: 'That's good laughter is the best medicine.'

'Bored?'

"I've run every test known to man, and it turns out you're allergic to medical bills."

There aren't any serious side effects — just an occasional Elvis sighting.

"Hi..just ringing to see if you got my e-mail?"

'I'm going to be a little late.'

Please Wait and wait and wait.

"That's a semi-private room for you. You caught his, and he caught yours."

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

Handicap parking sign for person in hospital bed.

"To be honest, most of our work involves reassuring patients until nature cures them..."

'Let me though! - I'm a Doctor.'

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

'Boy! The cost of health care is going up, up, up...'

"The Doctor is just wonderful!! He listens to all my irrelevant, boring stories!"

"Dehumanization, maybe, but not depersonalization."

"Are you going to move?"

'I don't think he'll make it either....I feel it's time to call in a minister to give last rites'

'You gotta help me, doctor! I took a deep breath to get some fresh air and inhaled my Blackberry!'

"My, aren't we patient-oriented this morning."

"Sorry Mr Penrose. We forgot to shake your medicine this morning."

'That pest in 453 is being discharged.'

"Repetitive strain injury?...theres a lot of it about."

'Hello, Mr. Perkins. I'm Dr. Jones, and I'll be assisting you with your suicide.'

A feast in a hospital bed.

'There's only one side effect from this medication. It starts when you don't pay my bill!'

'This is a serious complaint, we need time to consider it properly...about 15 years should do!'