Patent Pending Pro T-Shirts

"Mr. Estes is unavailable. He's still pending."

"What's a patent?"

"I need to see your budget proposal."

'Yes, sir, what can I do for you?'

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

Unrealistic expectations tend to lead to disappointment. . .

Academics at the Beach: Professor Stints wears his patented total sun-blocking suit.

Hello-BUNS OF STEEL?

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

'Apparently, the next guy has invented a time machine!'

Money Tree

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

'He's a real stickler for punctuality. He got really annoyed when I was late for an appointment, next week.'

'Ahh...I see you travelling far and wide on a long fruitless mission but you still can't find a town centre parking space this Christmas...'

"Fortunately I hold the patent for the gene that's causing the ringing in your ears, and I can refer you to the doctor who holds the patent for the gene that's causing the pain in your ears."

"But you both can't be the 'father' of Ammonium Pentoxide Phosphate."

Patent Office: ". . . It's a phoneless cord."

The night they invented champagne.

"It's going to be my revolutionary triple blade design"

"Congratulations on your invention...but you don't have to rub it in."

Man with lots of hair, holding a bottle of hair tonic waits outside of the patents office.

The chip - Loyal worker, tireless teacher, friend

Patent attorney tries a murder case': "You say footprints from a fleetline running shoe (pat. pending) were found outside the wetha-gard window (pat. no B14-300-T92)..."

Clancy: Around here we call that progress!

Ab Lawson's Genetic Engineering Farm

'This is a very innovative proposal. It can really shake things up around here. Let's not rush into making a decision too fast. I think you should gather much more information than we need to make an informed decision.'

Man patents device, combination of beer automat and urinal

"Well, if you really can prove that you invented the wheel, you'll be due an awful lot of backdated royalty payments!"

Inventor of a time travel machine

'How can I put this....?'

'Make up your mind! Are you mulling or musing?'

"This could be a boon to mankind, especially - once we take out a patent on it - the mankind in this laboratory."

"Marry me, Virginia. My genes are excellent and, as yet, unpatented."

'I'm thinking of jumping right from JV ball to the NBA.'