Pastoral Anniversary Gifts

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

Shepherd and eurydice

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

'Do you think we can cuddle?'

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

We Tenatively Oppose War on Strictly Procedural Grounds

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

Frog to frog: 'Do you promise to love me warts and all?'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."