Pastoral Anniversary Gifts

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

Shepherd and eurydice

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

Frog to frog: 'Do you promise to love me warts and all?'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."