Pastime Negotiator Gifts

'Jack wants to stay home and rad books, and I wanted him to take up roller skating, so we compromised.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

Do you want to win the game or my business?

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

'Maybe you should reconsider those place cards, Ms Harris?' (Negotiation talks/Good Guys/Bad Guys)

'Duly noted. Now, shall we move on or does anyone else feel the need to have a conniption?'

"Did you get my e-mail about who takes out the trash today?"

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"So do I take it that's a 'NO' to the pay rise?"

"These are excellent qualifications... so good that our largest competitor would gladly pay you twice as much."

"Finally we have something in common...mutual distrust."

'Our relationship would be perfect if it wasn't for you!'

'I took her last time - It's your turn to take her for a walk!'

"Before we begin, we'd like to remind you that we're an employee owned company."

"Well, so far I'm managing to stay above the fray."

"Just to get the negotiations off on the right foot, I don't intent to concede anything."

"Before we start our wages negotiation talks, the lads would like to congratulate the chairman on his 83% salary increase."

"Your interest in the salary makes me wonder how 'self-motivated' you really are."

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

'My final offer.'

After the latest pay bonus and benefit awards you've won, I've decided to join you on the shop floor.

'If negotiations sour, throw a handful in his eyes.'

"The union is objecting to our 'grotesquely inflated' wages, do you think they'd settle for 'outrageously inflated' instead?"

'Sir, for Heavens' sake, stop screaming! It's just Mr Winkleberger asking for a raise!'

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

'Thanks for coming. Now, let's see if we can bring this negotiation to closure.'

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

"He's right, but he didn't have to rub our faces in it."

"It's that man who's determined to see you, sir."