Past Life Regression Pillows

'You will be reincarnated as someone who undergoes past life regression.'

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Crap from the future.

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

"I get the strange feeling this has happened before."

Modern Life Blues

"Why does it always have to represent something?"

"I'm having trouble with my long-term memory -- I can't remember my earlier reincarnations."

"In my previous life I was arugula."

"Very funny."

Door sign states: Reincarnation studies Come again ... and again.

"That was a fascinating regression. Apparently, you were a pirate in a previous life!"

"I'm sorry, Mister Mulligan is dead. . . would you care to wait?"

"Remember the night in the Tetons when we smoked so much weed we thought we were hallucinating?"

Two ATMs sit side by side; one is labeled "Cash" while the other is labeled "Power".

'My whole life flashed before my eyes. I want to talk to the guy who did the editing.'

Man looking at a vending machine with a hand sticking out of it and a sign that reads "Put'er there buddy".

'It all started in my previous life, doctor.'

"My psychic tells me I was a glass of water in a previous life."

'What's my Dad buying me for my Birthday?'

'You were a boring accountant in ten previous lives.'

Street sign: 'Life gets even more complicated here to corner.'

"He looks so natural."

Eggs That Were Anagarms In Past Lives -'Unscramble Me'.

'Remember this test, Ms. Hart? Nineteen ninety. Multiple choice. You asked which of these is not a planet, and I checked Pluto...'

"We believe that in a former life she was an editor."

"Luckily, our retirement funds are entirely in double lattes."

'Ready for your first lesson in negotiations?'

Retiring from the rat race

"Pop-up prison."

"I haven't looked back since I got a job."

Vending machine offers tea and sympathy

"We have very little need these days to employ a cudgel."