Past Life Believer Pillows

"In my previous life I was arugula."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

"Surgery up here is free!"

"All we have left is standing room only."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"Of all the wet cement, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks in mine."

'Take me to your auto body shop.'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

'Perhaps the surest evidence intelligent life exists out there is the fact it hasn't revealed itself to us thus far.'

Dustbin monster.

"Oh nooo, we can't skip church. Why, we'll just sleep when we're dead!"

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

"Washing your car will cause it to rain – science or superstition? We investigate on the next 'Cause and Effect.'"

A Male Angel throwing his Halo as a Frisbee for his Dog to catch.

Gates of heaven

CartoonStock Upload

"I thought I'd come back YOUNG!"

"Yes, this is heaven - but we need some source of funding, too."

'How a cat lands on all fours'

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

Pyramid UFO...

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

Post-psychoanalysis

'Listen, if they didn't have alcohol in heaven, it wouldn't be heaven!'

"I'm having trouble with my long-term memory -- I can't remember my earlier reincarnations."