Passover Participant Gifts

"That was Elijah. He's stuck on the Garden State."

"What a beautiful day to be alive and well, and finished eating matzos for Passover!"

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Oymoticons

Jewish Geometry

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Have your people call my people."

"This might take awhile, Lord."

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"

"Does dad know you're dating the guy from the Seder plate?"

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

Unskilled Musicians' Marching Band

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'This 'Palestine' place you're giving to us - Will we have the mineral rights?'

'It appears to be a kosher for Passover recipe.'

Promised Land Signpost

The Exobus

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

Bayonne Festival

"How much longer are you going to be?"

Passover Plague

"If I ask you something, will you promise not to get mad?"

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

"Quiet? I'd even read for the understudy part for someone who is between engagements."

'I'll let your people go, but making kosher box lunches for them is out of the question!'

'Make up your mind! -- do you want me to let your people go, or grant them amnesty?'

Pesach Planning

'You never let us do ANYTHING!'

Rainbow Drinks

"The Kitmans in 12-B. Tell them Elijah is here for the Seder."

"If there were cellphones at the Red Sea."