Passing The Bar Exam Gifts

Law School teacher.

'Will you please answer the question, and this time, without the smoke and mirrors?'

'OK, OK, you've made your point. I'll admit that sometimes when I feel threatened, I snap.'

'Have I lapsed into legalese?'

Closing arguments.

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

'Come on, Your Honor - If you can't defraud an insurance company, who CAN you defraud?'

'Yes, I technically did give illegal orders, but I naturally expected that the integrity of my subordinates would prevent their being carried out.'

'Would you like my professional advice, or my honest opinion?.'

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

"Don't you threaten me, Felner! I have a law degree and I know how to use it."

'But your honor, imitation is the sincerest form of copyright infringement.'

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"I can't decide whether to specialize in criminal law or legal punditry."

Low Class Action Suit

"This is a complex matter, we can't keep repeating 'Possession is nine tenths of the law' at the judge."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'Your Honor, he's badgering the witness!'

"Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law."

'Now, then -- would you prefer a speedy trial or an accurate trial.'

'Trust me, I've forgotten more about the law than this old fool of a judge has ever known.'

Statue of a lawyer

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, say hi to my client."

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'It's a new word I came up with, your Honor. I'm still working on a definition for it.'

'Touche, counselor - you're in contempt.' (judge and lawyer in courtroom)

Law school: 'Repeat after me, class 'sue 'em first, or be sued!'

'Do you think I would even be here if my client were guilty?'

I'm a paralegal, it's like a flying doctor, only it's about law.

Attorney at law - Rates: JusticeObstruction of Justice.

Law Library: Rock, Paper and Scissors.

Maxims for the Bar.

An automatic arbitration machine

Call 1-800-JUSTICE for all your legal needs.