Passing The Bar Exam Gifts

'Will you please answer the question, and this time, without the smoke and mirrors?'

'OK, OK, you've made your point. I'll admit that sometimes when I feel threatened, I snap.'

'Have I lapsed into legalese?'

Closing arguments.

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

'Come on, Your Honor - If you can't defraud an insurance company, who CAN you defraud?'

'Would you like my professional advice, or my honest opinion?.'

'Yes, I technically did give illegal orders, but I naturally expected that the integrity of my subordinates would prevent their being carried out.'

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

"Don't you threaten me, Felner! I have a law degree and I know how to use it."

'But your honor, imitation is the sincerest form of copyright infringement.'

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"I can't decide whether to specialize in criminal law or legal punditry."

Low Class Action Suit

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, say hi to my client."

"Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law."

'Now, then -- would you prefer a speedy trial or an accurate trial.'

Statue of a lawyer

'Trust me, I've forgotten more about the law than this old fool of a judge has ever known.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"This is a complex matter, we can't keep repeating 'Possession is nine tenths of the law' at the judge."

'Your Honor, he's badgering the witness!'

Call 1-800-JUSTICE for all your legal needs.

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'Touche, counselor - you're in contempt.' (judge and lawyer in courtroom)

I'm a paralegal, it's like a flying doctor, only it's about law.

Maxims for the Bar.

Counsel's Opinion.

An automatic arbitration machine

"This jury may not be swayed by any defense that relies on emotion."

'I'd like to go back to law school and pay attention this time.'

'It's a new word I came up with, your Honor. I'm still working on a definition for it.'

Law Library: Rock, Paper and Scissors.

Attorney at law - Rates: JusticeObstruction of Justice.