Passing The Bar Gifts

'Something about this court makes me uneasy.'

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

"As a mitigating circumstance, may I say that my client's getaway car was a hybrid."

"I'm certain I speak for the entire legal profession when I say that the fee is reasonable and just."

''Congress shall make no law'... now, I wonder what they meant by that...?'

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"Prosecution bears the burden of proof."/"Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof."

'Look, I'm sorry... but you could hardly expect me to remember every little thing I learned in Law School...'

Legal Opinion

'If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.'

"We would like to request a change of venue to an entirely different legal system."

"Objection."

'Yeah? -- Well, there's a thin line between being a strict constructionist and being a stupid jerk!'

'I would prefer to have counsel sit with his client.'

'Who ever says crime doesn't pay isn't a lawyer!'

Yawning barristers in court

"I swear to tell my own truth..."

Counsel examining witness

Two lawyers in a royal court

'Judge Mental.'

Criminal Stupidness

'If you want a speedy trial, why do you keep objecting?'

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"Please read back that last remark in a more murdery voice."

2 Guys from Harvard - Attorney-at-Law

'Well,what do you think of the new gown and wig?'

"We're studying the legal principles of 'crossing a heart and hoping to die'."

27 attorneys. No waiting.

'Counselor, please refrain from badgering the witness.'

'For $5,000, I'm right beside you in court... for $10,000... I actually defended you.'

"I take it the defense rests."

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

Preparing justice

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

"I had a close client/attorney relationship...he was in the same cell."