Party Pooper Extraordinaire Gifts

"I'm passing on Halloween parties this year. You just know everyone's going to show up as Martha Stewart."

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

Baxter Higgleton, word balloon artist.

'I like the litter box...but the pool has gotta go !'

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

Happy New Year! Hope you can stay up for it!

Conga train chasing a man at a party.

'This patch is to quit smoking...this patch is to quit drinking...this patch is to quit drugs...this patch is to quit coffee...and this patch is to quit having any kind of fun whatsover!'

Once Again Jeff Had Put Too Much Helium In The Party Balloons.

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

"I know it's only been a little while since we've been allowed to mingle again but I'm already getting really tired of people."

My dad's doing flowers for a huge sweet 16 party. Everyone's invited except me! Who cares? It's probably some loser who couldn't get anyone to come over without going over the top. Thanks, Em! You know what's important. Plus! We'll figure out whose party it is and crash it! You're my spiritual guide.

'I hate the new vicar's cheese and wine parties.'

'You've had enough!'

Another great new year's eve! We're not doing anything, Ames. That's what's so good about it. The Dixons asked us over for a Quaker new year. They pop the bottles at 9 p.m. I guess

"Right now, I'm between naps."

'I hope you'll excuse the pajamas. They save time when people leave.'

"They stay together for the money."

"Man, this party's boring... do you think we oughta add a laugh track?"

'Your wife didn't do this. I'd recognize your handwriting anywhere.'

'So I guess it's New Year!'

'Actually, I hate places like this.'

"Let's be realistic. Are we all going to try to keep this party afloat, or should we just go home and forget it?"

"Not a chance."

"Did someone forget to invite Dwayne?"

Some apps are really useful.

'I hate these things. They're always so formal.'

"Dreadful party, nobody to talk to!"

'You don't really want to go to this party, do you?'

'The Ghost of Birthday Present couldn't make it. I'm the Ghost of No Birthday Present.'

He's shy. I always have to drag him to these things, kicking and screaming.

Victorian Children's Party

Drink kills.

"If only we could stay home and TiVo the Carlsons."

"Honey, you're doing that thing again where you stare into space and wonder how I talked you into leaving the house."