Party Of One Experts T-Shirts

"Oh, boy. It's been a "week". . . Maybe the neighbors will think I had a party or something."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

That party went well.

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

Dog Birthdays

"Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert."

"I liked it better when we just had your people call my people."

"Negotiations are at a crucial phase. We're desperately seeking more ways to say 'no'.''

"Look, Earl. . . It's a young person Republican! They do exist!"

"How much of this stuff can I eat before it can no longer be returned?"

"You didn't see much of us last summer because we were busy studying for the mid terms!"

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

The Establishment Election

"The year may be over, but it'll be dragged back up on history tests for years to come."

The statistician marrying the probability expert...

Shy Man at Party

"Hmm... I wonder what I can find to trigger my self-righteous indignation today..?"

"Our panel today includes Hurley Throod, the opinionated Washington bureau chief; Dennis Wurtner, the lightweight TV commentator; Marsha Boyle, the contentious syndicated columnist; and Sydney H. Hall, the self-styled political expert."

Protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

Leon the electron was not sure just to where he'd been blasted when the photon struck, but indicators suggested he was now in one of the atom's degenerate orbitals.

'Big deal. You found a particle in your lab. I vacuum over particles of yours every day.'

"Well, I'm offended!"

"I thank you guys for a wonderful time—and for giving me the opportunity to access some laughter!"

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

When Astronomers Party.

"Twitching fingers, coupled with feelings of malaise, weakness, anger and exasperation. You're suffering from On-Line Opinion Fatigue Syndrome."

'Let me call my wife. She's full of 'second opinions'.

Cantor Buried Tale

"Kitchens are my milieu."

"So the microwave's got a popcorn button, but the popcorn bag says don't use the popcorn button, and I'm like, Microwave people! Popcorn people! Get your act together!!"

'...46 and still have Principles...'

'No, I don't believe everything I read on the internet...just the stuff I agree with!'

"Since I hate small talk and I hate big talk, I guess I won't be talking."

It won't be easy to celebrate your birthday during a global pandemic lockdown.