Parking Lot Dweller Mugs

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Jurassic Parking Lot

"The car is in the garage, but I had to drive over the lawnmower."

"I know. I miss him, too."

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

The new electronic system is efficient, but the garage had to sacrifice parking spaces for it.

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

What brings you to therapy, Mr. Jiddury? Social anxiety. That's what Google says it is, anyway. But Google's no doctor. I thought it'd be better to get the opinion of a professional. I see, well, why don't we start the diagnosis by having you hang up your phone, get out of your car and come inside? No, that's ok. I'm good here. You have a lovely parking lot. I've got donuts in here. No, that's ok, I'm good. I've got cracker crumbs on the floor.

'Difficulty getting started in the morning, stalling, various leaks, gas fumes...at this point Mrs Johnson, I'd recommend getting a new husband!'

"This is one of those beautiful summer days when I'm flooded with memories of things that never happened to me."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know how I managed without it."

"The coffee is free, but now we rent the tables."

"Factominiums."

'Sunday in the park'

'Would you like me to sing you the news?'

"Well, there's your problem. The strange clanking sound is just Tom Waits in your engine."

A Not So Grand Slam.

"I'm having a little difficulty adjusting. The last place I worked was a lot bigger."

"...there's honey all over the walls, a weird buzzing noise 24 hours a day and some weird broad at the end of the hall thinks she's the queen!"

"Since it cost as much as our house, can we take out a mortgage instead of a loan?"

Paranoid Woodcutter Suspicious of Trees

'First we were out-gunned by the criminals...now we're out-dunked at the donut shop!'

Car parked illegally has 'divorce attorney on call' sign in window.

"Counting the space behind the pantry shelves, it's eleven square feet."

Don't even dream of parking here.

"Axle! - Will you STOP messing about??"

"As an attorney half my time is spent in court. The rest is evenly split between sitting at my computer and looking for parking."

'Try not to smile, sir. Imagine you're looking for a parking space.'

"Actually, the 24/7 Roadside Assistance kinda makes up for the 24/7 vehicle depreciation."

An astronaut lands on the moon to find that his lunar module has landed by a parking meter.

"The screen porch makes it a home."

St. Lukes Church: Pray and Display

A woman reads a magazine in the park