Park Football Mugs

'That's the trouble with parks football - there's not much quality on the bench!'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

I like the Jets...I guess

Football Fans

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Bowled over again!

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Church for sports worshipers.

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

'Another football scholarship offer?'

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

Punt Cake

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Football Chameleon

If nobody had invented graphics

The trauma of losing.

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

The Brothers Grime

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

''Yeah, mine's a rescue dog too.''

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...