Parisian History Buff Gifts

Trilby - 'Maman Duchesse'.

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

Vote Centrist to Keep Things Exactly as Awful as They Are

'You can just forget about the cake.'

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

"I've come across a rather disturbing find, Carstairs!"

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

The First Fire Stick

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

Sundial Time

"Of course it's not clean energy -- We don't have clean ANYTHING!"

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

Frederic Chopin

Lord George brings news of the debate

"Weather like this plagued my retreat from Moscow."

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

"I plan to read the constitution this weekend. Is it long?"

Easter Island Shades...

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

"Suddenly, you’re a fan of New England stone work?"

The Evolution Of Man.

"A Bill of Rights? - Don't you TRUST me?"

"Don't make me pull over this mammoth!"

This Is What Moral Corruption Looks Like

Ask Sadie Advice Hour. What's your problem?! I don't want to vaccinate my kids. But my husband does. What do I do? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time Mother Cohen and Father Cohen were arguing about vaccinating us kids. Father Cohen accused her of being a pawn of the Illuminati's attempt to use diphtheria to mutate us into ape-people. Mother Cohen accused him of being anti-Darwinian. That's when Father Cohen brought up her illicit fling with Chuck Darwin, and all heck broke loose. Um

I just made up that part. It should really throw people for a loop if they find this place thousands of years from now!

Our Founder picture of a caveman: 'We're a very, very old firm.'