Parenting On The Edge T-Shirts

'It's crazy what a peep will eat.'

"He just said his first word!"

Polly, want a cracker, but Polly need a glass of wine.

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

Businessman with briefcase pushes stroller with baby and its briefcase.

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

Baby on Board, Mother on Edge.

"Wasn't it your turn to drop him to online school?!"

'He's already surfing without nappies!'

"Have you ever heard about deferred prosecution agreements, Mommie?"

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

"I was hoping her first sentence would be, 'I love you, mommy.' Not, 'what's the Wi-Fi password?'"

Big book of memes

"They grow up so fast. From Mother Goose to Google."

'We'd like to christen him 2GR4T7VXS35. That way it'll be easier for him to get his own web domain name when he's older.'

"We want one that's genetically gifted but not genetically spoiled."

'This pacifier looks like a cell phone to make the inevitable transition that much easier.'

"You're leaving?" "Yeah, today's kids are so demanding so I've decided to move to a gluten-free, lactose-free, nut-free, sugar-free neighborhood."

"Well, do you have proof it wasn't bigfoot?

"It's from the We Experience Parenthood More Fully Than You collection."

Child uses tablet to mark geographical location of donkey's tale.

"They came home and got straight on with their homework - apparently it's the latest craze."

Meals on Heels.

State Prison Child Care

"Support the head!"

"It's a cease and desist letter forbidding us from saying 'That's lit!'"

"Have you noticed the kids never ask us anything since they learned to google?"

'It used to be enough to keep them fed and clothed. Now it's fed, clothed and connected.'

'They start texting so young these days,'

"Baby FOMO."

"I told you not to have that boob job."

"Aw, his first mobile..."