Parenthood Racer Mugs

Mothers crossing the road with prams.

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

Baby pram as a tank

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

The Impractical Guide to having a baby.

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

"Funny, I don't remember signing up for this."

"My inner child feels threatened by my inner baby."

'Mom says she has a souffl

Baby Race.

'How many fingers do you see?'

'Trust me, the term 'blissfully pregnant' is an oxymoron.'

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

"I needed a gig to tide me over between baby booms."

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

"The main skill you need in parenting, is the ability to surreptitiously eat chocolate."

Woman Window Shops For A Baby Book

'Male, 38, still living with his parents. They asked us to keep him overnight, so they could change the locks.'

'We've never had an accident - aside from three of our five kids.'

IVF assessment centre.

'Our computer responds to voice commands, but our kids don't.'

Maternity Ward: No Returns/No Exchanges

'WOW, congratulations, Ma'am! You're having Quads!'