Parenthood Pros Mugs

"Uh oh. It's the kids...and they're flying back!"

'This is outrageous. You should be in school.'

Toys in the DVD Player.

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

City Zoo: Day Care

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"They grow up so fast."

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

The Baby Walker

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

Gifts for a cloned baby!

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

Low-Energy Drinks

A mother and baby elephant

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

Baby pram as a tank

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

"One of the advantages of working from home is the free tech support."

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

"They followed me home from school - can I keep 'em?"