Parenthood Pretenders T-Shirts

Amateurs...

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

'He has your nose and my ears.'

Low-Energy Drinks

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

Growth Charts

"It's a boy, but that's a common one so don't get too excited."

'This is a fine time to leave! What if the doctor delivers the baby while you're out!'

Baby Screen Time

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"We have the exact same taste."

"I made the mistake of telling him that the world is his canvas."

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

"I noticed that since I've been working at home you've been paying me hazard pay. How did you know?"

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

'There's a planet in my book with two moons! Imagine how much howling we could do there!'

Young Gums

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

A postwoman delivers mail together with her baby who is riding in the letter carrier.

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

"Back when we got him, Rufus was a child substitute. Now he's just a dog."

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

Mime Baby

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

'Trust me, the term 'blissfully pregnant' is an oxymoron.'