Parenthood Humor Appreciator Mugs

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

'I hear you can tell how big they will get by the size of their feet.'

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

This is our 36th nap today - I can't read you a bedtime story EVERY time.

"How unprofessional. There's no brochure on the services and facilities I can expect in here."

'She said her first words today.'

'Hold on a minute with that stuff! That 'infestation' just happens to be your kids on a Saturday morning!'

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

'Daddy's busy - Go draw on the wall.'

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

Let the #&(%?;! pigeon drive the bus

"For the love of God Billy, you've got to stop putting things up your nose!"

'...And there's the hands - it looks like - well, it looks like he's texting.'

I know you do your mating dance just to embarrass the kids.

'There's been no stopping him since he said his first word this morning!'

'Oh look Julia, he's just text me his first word.'

Dad Dancing.

Is it true kids your age lie 14 times a day? That's outrageous! Yeah, mom. It's sooo off. Good to hear! 14 seems high to me. 8 sounds right.

'I dressed myself.'

I don't understand the way kids today express themselves and communicate. I don't understand the way kids today express themselves and communicate.

"Sure, Mom's eager to get us back to school, but she could have stopped the car!"

'What? Didn't your parents ever tell you who delivers babies???'

'I can't talk now Kevin. I'm under house arrest.'

12 step program

'You can't tell me what to do! You're not my 'ruler'! Heck, you're not even my real dad!'

"Stickers, fairy tattoos, a coloring book ... but no, Mom, I'm not seeing any stretch-mark cream in the goody bag."

Pregnant vs. Old.

National Mom Monument.

'I'm glad I don't like spinach because if I liked it I'd eat it and I hate the stuff!'