Parental Tactics Specialist Gifts

"Don't fight us, Timmy. We have numerical superiority."

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

Super-Papi moves swiftly to defeat the evil Electronico!

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Sitting Up'

"That is one absorbent nappy."

Grounded

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

"Ah...here they are!"

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

The modern generation!

He can't talk yet, but he still gets the last word.

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

"The time has come to talk of many things; of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of double-entry bookkeeping, too."

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

"Now you know how Daddy feels when Mommy overdraws the checkbook."

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

Toilet Training