Parental Tactics Specialist Gifts

"Don't fight us, Timmy. We have numerical superiority."

Super-Papi moves swiftly to defeat the evil Electronico!

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"That is one absorbent nappy."

Grounded

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Sitting Up'

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

"Ah...here they are!"

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

The modern generation!

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

"The time has come to talk of many things; of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of double-entry bookkeeping, too."

"Now you know how Daddy feels when Mommy overdraws the checkbook."

"Don't make me turn this covered wagon around!"

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

Toilet Training

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'